Distractions

I’m alive and happy to be me. Is it something I see or feel. Is it real. Can I be so confused but on track?

Is there such a thing as being in your skin but not being present is there a singledom that creates enough room to explore beyond your own consciousness and the ability to please others whilst they take parts away from your soul and damage your spirit … do they know, do they care .. are they even there ?

You move through life without gravity no force of reason or fear as though you’re not even here, just a face in a place no end or beginning a lose thread in a woollen jumper that could pull the jumper apart in one motion without much force just off course to become a neat ball to be knitted again with more strength than before you showed them the door, it swung one way this time no afterthought of blame you didn’t need to be mistreated again.

Why do you think it’s okay to be so detached what’s the reason for your unwillingness to share and care. Is it the fear of being here is it fake is it chosen is it fate who knows it’s another date …. Can you let anyone else in … what is in? Do you know you well enough to judge what’s best are you putting up with being treated poorly and accept a low standard of relationships without empathy just passing by and thought I’d say hi?

Why are you so paranoid and scared of everyone !? Why so much conspiracy theory and lack of trust, surely this will lead to a life that’s gone bust? Assets are outweighed when liabilities are too high they tarnish the good, this could be why you feel so misunderstood and inconsistent constantly searching for the balance of life v’s experience and love that’s unconditional, structured and shared.

Danger danger she cries “who’s the stranger” are they on my side. Did they think before they took something that wasn’t theirs. Did they look back and stare or did they not care? Who said I wasn’t there ?

I was always aware of those moments of terror and aware there could be more danger ahead to fear; but who knows what the future holds for many it’s safe and secure there’s no risk in holding something that’s dear. Your thoughts are of integrity and clarity there not clouded by lesser peoples morals and insanity.

Do we need to accept theses people to exist, are they part of a life that’s full of acceptance and gratitude no judgement and comparison just knowing that you are unique and it’s okay to be one that gives more than they take and doesn’t question the fake?

Is this how everyone else lives, passing by people they don’t care about, breezing though life as though they are a leaf in the wind, no destiny, just taking and ignoring the humanity they are breaking. Do you think about the other person when you stop and stare do you see them and do you care? I see everyone and feel everything which makes my life an intense dream, chapter by chapter of journeys with friends some good some bad but all come to an end. Did I say I was there, show that I cared? Was i present when they needed me or was I doubting their motives and setting negative outcomes for our future instead of being grateful for them being kind maybe I’m blind.

People are crazy people are selfish people, for the good and the bad don’t be sad have your own path and live and love more and remember the door as it’s always there to slam in the face of those lesser people when you’re ready and not unlit to start fighting back with courage to be you and not to be popular or liked just to be yourself and be noticed for not being fake but being an honest girl who people can trust your love won’t rust it’s robust and long term to those who are worthy.

Tonight has shown me I’m ready to get out there now, slim or fat. I don’t need to be anyone but me it’s okay to me in my flat ! The people that care will show me they’re there. If I listen and trust my gut more I won’t have to hurt.

It’s all going to be okay I think you know that now don’t you 😉 love you for the first time ever xxx